All About Cerebral Palsy

Today is World Cerebral Palsy Day!

You may be wondering about Cerebral Palsy. Before finding E., we weren't familiar with Cerebral Palsy either. We had lots of questions as we thought about adopting her!

This is a chart explaining Cerebral Palsy from World CP Day. Click here to view it larger.

General Cerebral Palsy Facts:

• Definition: Cerebral palsy is caused by damage to the Cerebrum (motor control centers) of the developing brain and can occur during pregnancy, during childbirth, or after birth up to about age three.
• Types: There are different types of Cerebral Palsy. E. is diagnosed with "mixed type" meaning she has a combination of different types
• Degrees: There are varying degrees of Cerebral Palsy. E.'s seems to be on the moderate to mild end of the spectrum.
• Non Progressive: The brain damage does not get any worse with time.
• Non-Curable: There is currently no cure for Cerebral Palsy.
• Treatable: Therapy can greatly improve motor skills such as movement and speech.
• Non-Contagious: Don't Worry! You can't catch it!
• Non-Hereditary: It is not genetic and isn't given to a child from the parents.

We have learned a lot from watching these videos about cerebral palsy!

Cerebral Palsy: What I Want You To Know

TED Talk: Maysoon Zayid: I got 99 problems... palsy is just one

Moving Forward: With Cerebral Palsy| Cassi Baird

Charisse's Story: My Life Journey with Cerebral Palsy

Trip 1: Information Gathering and Questions to Ask Caregivers

We are preparing to go on trip1 to Bulgaria to meet our kids. We want to do some information gathering while we are there.

Shoe Sizing Guide

Click Here to Print

Stride Rite has a great Shoe Sizing Guide that you can print. There is also a video explaining how to measure using their guide. We plan on tracing our children's feet so we can buy them shoes that are the right size before trip 2!

For Clothing: 

Waist Measurement, Current Height and Weight

Questions to Ask Your Child’s Caregivers

I have been putting together a list of questions gathered from various sources to ask the orphanage caregivers and foster family. (I am sorry I didn't keep track of all the books, authors, websites, blogs, etc. I found these questions on! Wish now I would have!) I thought I would share with other adoptive parents who might be traveling soon! This is a comprehensive list and it is WAY too long. We will trim it down to what we don't alreayd have answers for and to what we feel is most important. We would over whealm with this long list! All these questions won't apply to every situation, depending on your particular child. If you are like us, then you got a lot answers to these questions when you received your referral, so you can cut those questions out of the list! (Tip: Take either a video camera or audio recorder to tape the interview. Use the audio capabilities of the video recorder so you do not miss any of the conversation. Then you can go over later. This will be much faster than trying to write everything down!)

Questions About Birth Family?

• Of what ethnic heritage is the child?
• How did they receive their name? If unusual, ask what meaning it has or what ethnicity it is.
• What can you tell me about the birth mother? (Age, health, name, photo? etc.)
• What can you tell me about the birth father? (Age, health, name, photo? etc.)
• Does my child have any siblings? What are their gender, ages, names, etc. Are they also in an orphanage/foster family?
• Any photos of birth family available? (I know of 1 family who adopted Ukrainian children whose parents had died and they were given photos from when the children lived with their parents before they died!. Yes, this question is a long shot, but you never know!)
• Do birth family members have any medical, physical, or emotional problems?
• Is there any information on the birthmother’s pregnancy and/or delivery?

Questions About Child's Placement History 

• How did my child come into an orphanage/fostercare? (Parents death, abandonment, removed from family due to neglect/abuse, etc.)
• When did my child come into orphanage care/fostercare?
• Is this the only foster family/orphanage my child has lived in or have their been other placements? Where? With Whom? For How Long?
• How long has the child been in the orphanage? Where was he/she before that?
• Has my child ever lived with his/her birth family? For what period of time? What was the child's age?
• What is the staff to child ratio during the day? Night?
• Any signs of abuse (before the orphanage)?
• Can we get pictures of him with his caregivers? 

Questions About My Child

• Is there anything we should tell him as he grows up?
• Have she had any prior illnesses, injuries or accidents?
• How does he interact with other children?
• Who are his friends? Can we take photos of him with his friends for a keepsake?
• Does he have a favorite caregiver?
• Does she like to be hugged, held and kissed?
• Favorite toys?
• Favorite activities?
• What makes him happy?
• What makes her upset?
• What makes him angry?
• Special fears?
• How do you soothe her?
• Behavioral problems?
• Does he wake up in the night?
• Does the child have any scars? If so, how did s/he get them?
• Are there any old photos?
• May I see where they slept and played and may you take photos of those places?
• Ask them how well the child speaks in their native language? Ask them what words and/or sentences the child can say and ask them how well the child pronounces those words.
• At what age did the child start sitting, walking and talking? (Ask the orphanage directer for a written history of the child's developmental milestones.)
• Does the child have any medical, physical, or emotional problems or disabilities?
• What are the dates of any blood transfusions, trauma, hospitalizations or surgeries?
• Ask the staff for descriptions of the child’s personality & physical, mental, & emotional status.
• How does the child's speech compare with her/his peers in the orphanage?
• How does the child's ability to crawl, walk, or run compare with peers in the orphanage?
• Does the child use utensils to eat, drink from a cup?
• Can the child dress & undress without help?
• Is the child toilet trained during the day and/or night?
• Does s/he wet the bed? How often? Has any intervention taken place?
• Does he/she initiate using the toilet?

Questions About Daily Routines

• Ask the orphanage director to write out the child’s daily routine.
• What do you feed them? How much and when?
• What are my child's favorite foods?
• How long and when do they sleep? (Bed time, Nap time?)
• What is the bathing routine? Does s/he like to be bathed?
• How do you discipline children here?

Other things to document, photograph, video (depending on the child's age). This can be helpful to share with your international adoption doctor and may help in thinking about future therapies the child may need, such as speech therapy, occupational therapy, etc.

Gross motor skills: 

• The child’s arm, leg, trunk and head movement. How the child uses his/her limbs and body.
• walking, running, stairs, standing on one foot, hopping, & jumping

Fine motor skills: 

• building, coloring, stringing beads, & cutting, etc. (bring Legos, paper, scissors, crayons, beads & string).

Verbal Skills: 

• Vocalization by the child.
• Others talking to the child and how he/she responds
• Through translator ask child his/her name
• Through translator ask him/her some questions and have her/him identify objects
• Through a translator give the child simple one, two or three step directions

Social Skills:

• The child interacting with visitors, staff, other children during meals or play time
• The child using interactive toys such dolls, puppets, toy vehicles & people

Don't forget to ask, "Do you have any questions for us?"

Hope you find this helpful! Feel free to copy, edit, and share!

Traveling in October!

October is the time of year for hay rides, pumpkins, apple cider, and taking walks in the crisp fall air and crunching leaves under your feet. This year, October will also be when we finally get to meet our children!

We got our official referral for M. in August and we could have traveled in September to meet him. But we decided to adopt E. too and had to file more paperwork. Wednesday, October 17, we got a call from our agency with our "verbal referral" for E.. Our request to adopt E. along with M. was approved by the Bulgarian government. It will take a week or two longer for all the documents to get translated and for us to have the "official referral" in our hands, so we don't have firm travel dates yet. Our adoption agency told us to expect to travel for our first trip in October.

Surprise! It's a...

...Sister!

Yesterday, I posted on Facebook that we were adopting a 2nd child along with M. and asked whether people thought M. was going to have a brother or sister.

We ended up with 4 boy votes and 18 girl votes. The girl votes got it right! We are going to have "Sugar and Spice, and Everything Nice" along with our "Snakes, Snails and Puppy-Dog Tails!"

Meet E.!

Our daughter's name is E.! She is 11 years old. She has a huge, beautiful smile and cute, black, curly hair that she wears in pigtails or a ponytail! She also has Cerebral Palsy. And she has been waiting for a family for a long time. Too long!

Here's the scoop on how we decided to adopt E.:

A friend who works for an adoption agency (not the one we are using) saw her waiting child profile and emailed us about her because she thought E. would be a good fit for Andrew and I, and because she knew we were hoping to adopt a 2nd child. 

E.'s report described her as a bright, sociable, happy child. She has cerebral palsy, but the report described her as determined. She worked hard to overcome her difficulties. We were taken with the description of her personality. We thought that E. might be a good fit for our family and that our family might be a good fit for her! However, at that time, the most recent information about her was from 2012 - two years outdated. There was an even bigger problem. Our adoption agency didn't have her file, so we couldn't get any updated information about her. For months we urged our agency to find out all they could about her and to try to get her file. It was a long shot really. During those months of hoping our agency could find out more about her and get her file, we prayed daily for E. We prayed that she would receive family, whether it be us or someone else. We prayed for wisdom in making a decision about her.

It took several months, but our agency was finally able to get her file, and updated information. We prayed all the more. But after months of praying for her and looking at her picture, my heart was saying yes already! We wanted to adopt E.! The big question was, could Andrew and I meet E.'s needs? Cerebral Palsy is a incurable but treatable disability. We would be committing to years of speech therapy, physical therapy, and occupational therapy.

A second big question loomed in our minds. Can we handle adopting 2 older children at once? Make that two children who have never met each other? Could we not only handle it, but could we thrive as a family? Would this be a good situation for both M. and E.? We considered the pros and cons, and decided to say yes to adopting E.!

Not a Blank Slate

For Andrew and I adoption = happy excitement and not-so-patient waiting, as well as some new-parent jitters. But happiness is not the only emotion that comes with adoption. With all adoption there is loss. Adoption is a solution to give parents to a child who is parentless because of death of parents, a mother not able to parent a child, children being removed from their birth family from neglect and abuse, and child abandonment. Well meaning people tell children how lucky they are to be adopted. And in a sense, I know what they mean. They mean that the child is lucky or blessed they aren't still in the orphanage or in fostercare or living on the streets. Because for every child that is adopted, there are thousands who don't get adopted and continue to struggle living in fostercare, orphanages, or on their own on the streets. I don't consider a child who has suffered the loss of birth parents for whatever reason (death of parents, choice of birthmother to make an adoption plan, abandoment, neglect, abuse) to be lucky or blessed.

Listen to these stories of adoption and fostercare and hear the real loss that these children have gone through:

As I think about M., I feel empathy for him. He isn't coming to us as a blank slate. He has a story. A story that involves the loss of his birth family, living in 2 different orphanages and even loss from when he left those orphanages, and now a foster family. When M. comes to us, he will suffer more loss. The loss of the familiar, the loss of his birth culture, the loss of his foster family. It will not be easy for him. I want Andrew and I to be understand of all the emotions he may feel as he joins our family. He could feel overwhelmed, confused, sad, angry, misunderstood, and so much more. We continue to prepare for the emotional needs of our son when he joins our family.

Listen To Our Hearts: Why from Tapestry on Vimeo.

Short Update!

Our updated homestudy and immigration approval are on there way to Bulgaria! Yay!

Once our paperwork reaches Bulgaria, it will be submitted to Bulgarian Minster of Justice for approval. The Minister of Justice will then give us the official referral for M. and extend an invitation to travel and meet M. We aren't sure how long this process will take! We still hope to travel in late summer or fall.

I have started buying a few little things to take with us when we visit M. I hit the dollar bins at Target this week and found bubbles, sidewalk chalk, a squishy ball, a slinky, and coloring book!

Happy Father's Day

 Happy Father's Day to the Fathers I am thankful for!

My Daddy

Andrew and His Dad

The Man Who Will Be "Daddy" to my Children

Crawling Forward

Our adoption process is crawling forward. Everyone has been asking how long it will take until we can bring M. home. The short answer is we don't know. We hope to travel in the late summer or fall for trip 1 and early in 2015 to pick up M. and bring him home. The long answer is below.

When we signed the papers to pursue adopting M., there were 2 documents that needed updating since we were only approved to adopt children up to the age of 6 and M. is 10. We needed to update our homestudy approval and our immigration approval.

We had already scheduled meetings with our social worker for the homestudy, because we were planning on updating it anyway. That helped the process go a little quicker! We received our signed notarized homestudy update May 13, and mailed of our application to update our immigration permission to the Department of Homeland Security (for those of you who understand the legal side of our adoption, form I800A, supplement 3) on May 14.  The next step was fingerprinting for immigration, but we had to wait until Homeland security sent us letters in the mail with an appointment. That finally came. We just had our biometric finger prints done by the Dept. of Homeland Security this week. For now, we are just waiting to get our immigration approval back. Hopefully soon, though it may take a few more weeks.

When we get back our immigration approval, we will have it and our homestudy apostilled (fancy seal put on it from the State Secretary's office saying that these documents are real, legit, not forged, etc.) and mailed to Bulgaria. (We already scanned and emailed our homestudy on to Bulgaria so that translation work can be done and ready when the hard copy arrives!) Then those documents will need to be approved by the Minister of Justice in Bulgaria. After we get that approval we can get travel dates for the first trip.

The second trip when we can pick up M. and bring him home will be 4-6 months after the first trip, depending on how long more red tape takes, specifically how long it takes for court in Bulgaria, travel visa for M., article 5 and signatures by important people.