The Most Important Things

Micah 6:8

He has told you, O man, what is good;
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
    and to walk humbly with your God?

Matthew 23:23

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe even the herbs from your garden, and you have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others.

Sometimes in life, I lose focus.  My priorities get shifted.  When my priorities are not God's priorities, I worry and waste my time and energy on things that don't matter.  Lately, God has been refocusing my heart onto His priorities.

Jesus used strong language when He scolded the pharisees.  He said, "You have all your spiritual ducks in a row.  That is fine, but you have neglect what matters most! The most important things are justice and mercy and faithfulness!" When it comes to my Christianity, it is easy for me, like the pharisees, to get focused on the external, the dos and the don'ts, instead of what really matters. While God cares about the externals, the externals are not His focus, His heart.

What are God's priorities (and what should my priorities be?)

Mark 12:30-31

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

"Do not waste time bothering whether you ʿloveʾ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him."
 
 - C. S. Lewis in Mere Christianity

According to Jesus, what really matters, what is really important is loving God and loving others. I must love God completely.  Then I must love others the way I love myself. God is convicting me that I don't love others the way I love myself. In my own strength, I am not capable of truly loving others. I need to be filled with the unselfish, sacrificial love that Jesus had when He gave His life for me. 

I have what Eric Ludy calls "depraved indifference" - an inward bent that is indifferent to others and that cares about myself. Oh, sure. I care about others, but do I care about others as much as I care about myself? Do I care about others enough to sacrifice some of my plentiful riches to care for the poor, hungry, and needy of this world? Do I care enough to go out of my comfort zone to tell my neighbors and the people I work with about Jesus? Or am I content with living in my own happy, (relatively) trouble-free, little life? I would rather buy another purse or new pair of shoes when I already have more than I can wear than sponsor a child in a developing country. I would rather go about my own business than show my neighbor I care.

James 1:24-27

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue, deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

“As a Christian, it is very apparent that you are to love the Lord with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself. So myself doesn’t want to be starving, I don’t want other people in the world to be starving."

-Katie Davis

I love the story of Katie Davis. She both inspires and convicts me to live not for myself, but for God and for others. Here is her story:

Katie Davis took a short term missions trip to an orphanage Uganda on Christmas break of her senior year of high school.  During that trip she fell more in love with Jesus and in love with the people of Uganda.  After graduating from high school, Katie decided to take a year off before attending university. In the summer of 2007, Katie flew to Uganda again, this time to teach kindergarten in an orphanage for a year. Katie said "I moved over there thinking that I would be there for a year and then I would come back and go to college and be normal again." Fast forward to 2012. Katie never did attend university.  She still lives in Uganda.  Katie is now a mother to 14 daughters, has a sponsorship program that provides food and education for over 600 children, and runs Amazima Ministries (which she started) which helps Ugandan women with self-sustaining vocational skills. And Katie is younger than I am.

God may never call me to Uganda.  But how am I living my life by His priorities right now? Right now, how am I being the hands and feet of Jesus?

"People tell me I am brave. People tell me I am strong. People tell me good job. Well here is the truth of it. I am really not that brave, I am not really that strong, and I am not doing anything spectacular. I am just doing what God called me to do as a follower of Him. Feed His sheep, do unto the least of His people."

- Katie Davis

My Prayer: Break My Heart Over What Breaks Yours

God, I pray You would break my heart over what breaks Yours. Burden me with the things that burden You. Help me to live my life by Your priorities, not by this world's.  My I be motivated by Your love to help those who cannot help themselves.  May I care enough about those around me to share the love of Jesus with them. Cure me of the depraved indifference I have for those who don't know You and for those who are helpless in this world. Help me to not only be a hearer of Your Word but a doer also. May I be Your hands and Your feet to those with whom I come in contact. Amen.

Grants for Adoption

According to recent studies, more than 50% of Americans consider adoption, but say that the financial burden prevents them from actually adopting a child.

For National Adoption Month, I have been blogging about ways to help off set adoption expenses in hopes that someone who thought they could not afford to adoption would find hope that they can adopt with the help of God and others.  This topic would be incomplete without a blog post about adoption grants.

Adoption grants are a big help to families who can afford the day to day expenses of adding a child to their family such as food, clothing, doctor visits, etc. but do not have the funds to pay the expenses of an adoption.  Grants do not need to be repaid, which is a huge advantage over a low interest or interest free loan. Grant foundations and organization each have different requirements.  Every organization that I have seen requires an approved homestudy.  Most organizations send money directly to adoption agencies or lawyers rather than to the adoptive families.  Some agencies require a small application fee, usually under $50.

 

Grant Agencies

• National Adoption Foundation - This grant program is open to all legal adoptions including public or private agency adoptions, international, special needs or adoptions facilitated by an attorney. There is no income requirement. There is a simple one page application and the only requirement to apply is a home study, or one in progress. The NAF’s board meets four times a year, during the last week of each quarter, to award grants ranging from $500 to $2,000.
• Sea of Faces Foundation - Sea of Faces gives grants to married Christian couples who are legal residents of the US, have a referral for a child from a developing country, have a completed homestudy and an approved I-171H or I-797C. Sea of Faces allows families to apply up to six months after a child is home. Some additional factors considered are urgency of need, church involvement, overall financial stewardship, adoption impact on your financial future, and your adoption story. Applicants must also sign a Statement of Faith, which can be previewed here.
• Show Hope - Grants are given to Christian families adopting through a non-profit agency for domestic and international adoption.
• The OATH Ministry - Orphans Awaiting Their Homes Ministry gives grants to families who are currently in the adoption process and have an approved homestudy by a licensed social worker.  Grants are based on the need of the families and available the OATH's available resources.
• Affording Adoption Foundation - Grants are given three times a year to families working with Accredited Adoption Agencies or licensed attorneys in the United States who have been matched with a child.
• Gift of Adoption Fund - Grants are awarded for domestic or international adoptions regardless of religion, race, age, number of children already in the home, or marital status. Any U.S. citizen who has an approved and current home study from a licensed and accredited adoption agency is eligible to apply for a grant from The Gift of Adoption Fund. Grants range from $1,000 to $7,500 with the average grant award at $3,500. Gift of Adoption does not fully fund adoptions but provides the last bit of help needed to bring a child home.
• Help US Adopt - Grants are given twice a year to US citizens living inside the United States. Both couples or individuals who exhibit financial need and significant obstacles and hardship may receive grants. Helpusadopt.org accepts applications regardless of race, religion, gender, ethnicity, or marital status. Grants are up to $15,000 towards domestic, international, foster, or special needs adoption expenses.
• A Child Awaits Foundation - Grants are given of up to $5,000 for international adoptions only to qualified U.S. citizens regardless of marital status, race, religion or national origin. Selection of the recipients will be based on a combination of age/medical condition of the child, cost of the adoption, the families' financial situation and availability of funds at A Child Waits Foundation. Adoptions must be in process through a 501 (c) (3) agency licensed to place children.
• Hope for Fallen Leaves - Single women and legally married couples may apply, including families adopting internationally, from U.S. foster care, or domestic special needs; families with 0 – 10 children, biological or adopted; families living abroad with at least one parent being a U.S. citizen. Families must have a completed homestudy and be adopting with a non-profit agency. Funding priority will be given, but not limited to, families with the greatest financial need; families trying to keep siblings together; and families adopting special needs children.
• The Sparrow Fund - Gives grants to help cover the expenses of a medical reviews.
•  Brittany's Hope -Offers grants for waiting child/special needs international adoptions to families working with any of the eight agencies with whom they partner.
• Adoption Agencies – There are several adoption agencies that have adoption grant funds available to qualified families. Examples include: Dillon International, Holt International, WACAP, Adoption ARK and many more. Most of the time, these funds are set up to assist adoptions of special needs or hard to place children.

Matching Grant Agencies

• LifeSong for Orphans - LifeSong offers dollar-for-dollar matching grants ranging from $1,000-$4,000 to bring a child into a Christian, traditional two-parent home. LifeSong also offers interest-free adoption loans.
• We Care for Orphans Adoption Fund - A partner of LifeSong for Orphans that also give matching grants and interest free loans.
• Katelyn's Fund Orphan Ministry - Katelyn's Fund gives grants to help orphans to be adopted into two-parent, Christian homes. Grants are given to families showing financial hardship with adoption expenses. Applications must be submitted at least 90 days before travel and applicants must have an interview with the board before travel occurs or within 45 days of placement for domestic adoptions.
• God's Grace Adoption Ministry - GGAM uses matching grants to help Christian, two-parent families meet adoption expenses.

PS. - Resources 4 Adoption keeps an updated list of grant foundations and their qualifications that you can download for a fee of $9.95.

No Morning Sickness Yet, But the Paper Cuts Are Terrible!

A Funny Conversation:
A few days ago, my pastor's wife told me, "I keep thinking about you and wondering how you are doing and if you are feeling sick. Then I remember that you are not pregnant!" (This is so funny to me.  Whenever I think about it I just get a big smile on my face.)

A Wistful Thought:
Yesterday, Andrew told me, "I woke up this morning wishing our children were home."

A Sad Story (With a Future Happy Ending):
A few weeks go, Andrew was traveling and had to sleep on an air mattress on a concrete floor.  During the night he woke up and was laying on the floor.  All the air had leaked out of the air mattress.  Andrew told me that he lay there thinking, "Is this what it is like for our children?"

The Same, Yet So Different
These three short stories give small window into our lives right now. We are expecting parents, but my belly isn't growing (at least it better not be!)  Try explaining that to someone...

I think our journey to parenthood is so different, yet somehow the same as those who arrive at parenthood through pregnancy. Sometimes we dream of our children, as all expectant parents do. Sometimes, we find humor in the stage of life we are in right now, as I think a pregnant couple must do too.  And sometimes we are wondering about the well being of our children, as pregnant woman and her husband must think about the health and safety of their unborn child.

Both Hands: One for the Orphan, One for the Widow

Paying for an adoption isn't easy. For National Adoption Month, I wanted to share some fundraising ideas for families who are adopting. My absolute favorite fundraising idea for adoption is Both Hands Foundation.

Some reasons I love Both Hands Foundation:

1. I love the opportuity for the body of Christ to be the hands and feet of Jesus for a day!  This fulfills James 1:27 by helping both a widow and an orphan in a practical, hands on way.

2. The both hands project is a one day event! (Although there is preparation.) Short, sweet, and hard to beat!

3.  This fundraiser can be so successful! Some families have actually raised enough funds through this fundraiser to cover all of their adoption expense. The average family raises $10,000.00!

4. 100% of the money raised goes toward the expenses of the family's adoption.  Both Hands does not take any money for overhead.

5. Organization is dear to my heart.  I love things to be done in an orderly fashion.  A project like fixing a widows house in a day takes some planning.  I love how Both Hands has everything in place to make this fundraiser run smoothly.

6. Since Both Hands is a licensed nonprofit, all donations/gifts are tax deductible.

7. I love that this fundraiser is not just for adopting families. A church can do a Both Hands fundraiser to raise money for an orphanage or a church adoption fund!

Sound to good to be true? It is not. This video explains how both hands works, and the compelling story of how founder J. T. Olson began the ministry.

For more information and to apply, click here.

Would you like to see a sample of what one family did in one day to help a widow and raise money for there adoption? See the video below.

PS. Through out November I will be posting more fundraising ideas!

Adopting When You Can't Afford It

 

November is National Adoption Month.  Many people consider adopting, but think they can't afford it. Don't let money be the only obstacle that is keeping you from adopting.  If God wants your family to adopt, He will provide the finances for your adoption! If everyone waited until they could afford it, 90% of people who have adopted would probably never have adopted! Most people don't have thousands of dollars in the bank to pay for an adoption, but somehow they adopt anyway.

We are one of those couples without thousands of dollars in our bank account. My husband is in grad school and can only work about 30 hours a week.  I lost my job last spring and now work two part time jobs. We probably "can't afford it." But we are adopting anyway. We are trusting God to provide the finances.  (This whole adoption process is strengthening my faith! It is so amazing to watch how God is providing for our adoption!) I said all that to say this "If we can adopt, so can you!"

If you are considering adoption, but don't think you can afford it.  Give adoption another thought. Read Rebekah's blog post on how they adopted and God provided. Read Nancy's blog post on the sacrifices they made in order to adopt.

Stay tuned! Through out the month of November I will be giving a shout to out different fundraising and grant organizations that could help your family adopt!

How Much Does It Cost To Adopt?

November is National Adoption Month.  Have you considered adoption? Ever wonder the cost of adopting? Expenses range from free to quite costly.  (When you look at the charts below, don't let the expenses discourage you. Tomorrow I will post on how to adopt even when you can't afford the cost.) For today, lets examine what the cost to adopt is. Adoptive Families Magazine surveyed over 1,500 families that adopted a child in 2010 or 2011 about cost before any employee benefits, tax credits or grants. Here is what the survey found:

• Domestic adoptions, on average, cost less than international adoptions.


• U.S. foster adoption is the least expensive adoption route, by a significant margin.


• 80 percent of respondents who adopted from foster care receive an ongoing monthly subsidy. On average, these families reported receiving $630 per month.


• For most adopters, the average total expenses were about $30,000.


• 39 percent of domestic adopters had at least one "false start," in which adoptive parents worked with one or more birthmothers before a match that succeeded. The majority (77%) of "false starts" cost less than $5,000.

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Average Domestic Adoption Cost

	Domestic Newborn - Agency	Domestic Newborn- Independent	U.S. Foster
Homestudy Fee	$1,820	$1,538	$285
Document Preparation & Authentication	$768	$680	$0
Adoption Agency Application & Program Fees	$14,441	$4,608	$0
Legal Fees	$3,536	$10,331	$686
Advertising/ Networking	$2,172	$3,437	$0
Birth Family Counseling	$1,233	$543	$0
Birthmother Expenses	$3,834	$4,274	$0
Foster Care	$230	$38	$0
Travel Expenses	$1,870	$2,285	$521
All Other Expenses	$4,108	$2,488	$761
TOTAL	$34,012	$30,222	$2,253

Average International Adoption Cost

	China	Ethiopia	Russia	South Korea	Ukraine
Homestudy Fee	$2,052	$2,107	$1,923	$2,178	$1,886
Document Preparation & Authentication	$2,214	$1,769	$3,258	$1,472	$1,272
Adoption Agency Application & Program Fees	$7,652	$11,988	$22,173	$16,675	$6,143
In-Country Adoption Expenses	$5,581	$1,979	$6,709	$9,007	$13,946
Child's Passport, Visa, Medical Exam, and Other Fees	$716	$837	$1,431	$888	$1,021
Post-Adoption Expenses	$1,576	$1,150	$1,684	$1,775	$767
Major Travel Expenses	$7,181	$7,852	$14,748	$5,577	$9,614
In-Country Travel Expenses	$2,704	$1,080	$6,709	$583	$2,386
All Other Expenses	$2,125	$5,363	$7,569	$8,533	$5,000
TOTAL	$31,801	$34,125	$66,204	$46,688	$42,035

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Cost Distribution

	Less than $1k	$1k to $5k	$5k to $10k	$10k to $20k	$20k to $30k	$30k to $40k	$40k to $50k	More than $50k
U.S. Agency	0%	1%	6%	25%	37%	23%	7%	1%
U.S. Independent	1%	7%	14%	24%	22%	17%	13%	2%
U.S. Foster	70%	23%	4%	3%	0%	0%	0%	0%
China	0%	0%	0%	4%	58%	32%	6%	0%
Ethiopia	0%	1%	0%	10%	50%	30%	8%	1%
Russia	0%	0%	0%	0%	3%	17%	45%	35%
South Korea	0%	0%	0%	9%	36%	42%	11%	2%
Ukraine	0%	0%	0%	0%	32%	36%	32%	0%

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Information and Charts from: Adoptive Family Magazine's Survey

Doing Something About It

"Every child deserves a safe, loving, permanent family of his or her own. That’s a basic human need." 

- Secretary of State Hillary Clinton  

(Wow! Who would have guessed Hillary Clinton and I agree on something?)

The Orphan Crisis World Wide
The exact number of orphaned children in the world is hard to know.  Estimates are from 143 million to 210 million (depending on how orphan is defined and if abandoned children are included in the estimate.)  

The Crisis in America
In the the US, there are 500,000 children in foster care.  Many of these children are temporarily in foster care and will be reunited with their families.  However, 130,000 of these children are waiting to be adopted. These children cannot return to their birth family.  Their parent's rights have been terminated due to repeated neglect or abuse. How many of these children will grow up bouncing from foster family to foster family until they age out of the foster system? About 30,000 adolescents age out of the foster care system each year.
 
One child without a family is one too many.  

"I always wondered why somebody doesn't do something about that. Then I realized I was somebody." 

 - Lilly Tomlin


No one person can solve the problem of orphans, and there is no one solution. I cannot be a parent to millions of children, but I can be a parent to two children.   

November is National Adoption Month.  This month, will you pray about what you can do to help the fatherless? Could you sponsor a child in another country so he can stay with his birth family instead of being abandoned simply because his family was too poor to care for him? (Compassion International has a great sponsor program.) Could you foster a child who has been temporarily removed from her birth family? Could you adopt a child either domestically or internationally?  

I pray God's children everywhere will answer the call in James 1:27 to care for the fatherless children of this world.
 
"Any society, any nation, is judged on the basis of how it treats its weakest members -- the last, the least, the littlest."

- Cardinal Roger Mahony