How Long Does It Take To Adopt?

Our adoption of a sibling group ages 5 and under from Bulgaria will probably take from two to three years from the time we applied to our adoption agency to the time we bring our children home.

November is National Adoption Month.  You may be wondering, "If we adopt, how long will it take?" The adoption time table varies greatly between domestic newborn, domestic foster care and international adoption.  Times also depend much upon the characteristics you are seeking in a child.  For international adoption, waiting children, older children, special needs children and boys are much faster to adopt than young, healthy girls.

Adoptive Families Magazine surveyed over 1,500 families who adopted in 2010-2011 to find out how long there adoptions took. 

U.S. Newborn Adoption Average time from preparation of portfolio to match with birthmother (includes time spent in false starts): Less than 3 months 4 to 6 months 7 to 12 months 13 to 24 months Longer than 24 months 33% 17% 23% 18%   9% Time between birth and legal finalization: Less than 6 months 7 to 12 months Longer than 12 months 53% 40%   7% 39% of respondents experienced at least one false start. Of these families, 39% worked with the expectant mother one month or less. 13% were matched after the child had already been born. What readers say about the time it takes to adopt a newborn in the U.S.: "We were open to any gender and any race so we were able to be matched quickly." "The adoption was contested by the birthfather, so that made the process take longer. There were also delays from the birthmother's being hospitalized for an illness." "Our domestic adoption progressed VERY quickly. We submitted our dossier to our attorney on December 17, were matched to a birth mom on December 20, our son was born on December 27, and we brought him 'home' to our hotel on December 29. It was a 12-day process from paperwork submission to holding our new son." "We waited almost two years. The agency had an in-depth educational process which broadened our understanding of adoption and open adoption. They had many services available to us while we waited. I can't imagine not having that support and education." "Our baby was placed with us at four days old, but he was premature, so he was in the NICU for almost five weeks before he could come home." "We experienced four failed attempts, including one in which the baby was with us for seven days. We took several months 'off' after each false start, and then it took several months each time to find the new match." "Our child was relinquished by his birth mother at six months of age, then placed in foster care for three months while legal paperwork was completed. So, our timeline is a bit unique."

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U.S. Foster AdoptionAdoptions in FY 2009: 55,684 Average time from foster certification to placement of child ultimately adopted: Less than 1 month 2 to 3 months 4 to 6 months 7 to 12 months Longer than 12 months 22% 18% 17% 16% 27% Time from placement to finalization: Less than 6 months 7 to 12 months 13 to 18 months 19 to 24 months Longer than 2 years 15% 32% 14% 17% 22% 33% had placements that did not end in adoption. For 22% of these families, the placement lasted for longer than one year. What readers say about the time it takes to adopt from U.S. foster care: "We had our foster daughter for the six months they require you to have them in your home before you are allowed to adopt. As soon as we were allowed and approved by DCFS to apply for an adoption date, we did." "Working with government agencies take a very long time. They forgot our completed homestudy and adoption contact on someone's desk and it expired. Then it had to be completed again. Frustrating, to say the least!" "My son was in the system as legally free for adoption - so things moved quickly." "you have to go through the legal process of terminating parental rights. In our case, we had to also serve notice to unknown fathers in the newspaper. Once all that is completed, adoption usually goes pretty fast." "We had to try to reunify the child with his parents. This is the goal of foster parenting. If you go into it with the thought of adoption you will be disappointed. You have to go through all the steps with the social worker and the parents knowing that, if they are not successful, parental rights can be terminated. You also have to have the right judge who drives his/her own schedule, the social worker, and the parents. Our judge held everyone accountable, called them to court when he wanted the paperwork done, and just did not let the clock tick."

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China AdoptionAdoptions to the U.S. in 2011: 2,587 including traditional and waiting child programs TRADITIONAL PROGRAM Average time from completion of dossier to referral: Less than 36 months 37 to 60 months Longer than 5 years 20% 60% 20% Time from referral until child came home: Less than 3 months 4 to 6 months 7 to 9 months Longer than 9 months 60% 14% 23%   3% WAITING CHILD PROGRAM Average time from completion of dossier to referral: Less than 1 months 2 to 12 months 13 to 24 months Longer than 2 years 36% 35%   7% 22% Time from referral until child came home: Less than 3 months 4 to 6 months 7 to 9 months Longer than 9 months 14% 43% 24% 19% 93% spent three weeks or less in China. What readers say about the time it takes to adopt from China: "China slowed down a lot after our dossier was logged in." "Once we switched to the special needs program it was much faster than we expected. Our agency told us seven to eight months to referral. We waited less than two months from our switch to referral." "We identified our child from a waiting child list before our homestudy was complete. There were complications getting the homestudy completed within our state, so that lengthened our wait from referral to bringing our son home." "We spent longer than two weeks in country because we wanted to visit the foster home that our son had spent two years of his life in."

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Ethiopia AdoptionAdoptions to the U.S. in 2011: 1,732 Average time from completion of dossier to referral: Less than 3 months 4 to 6 months 7 to 9 months 10 to 12 months 13 to 18 months Longer than 18 months 40% 12% 13% 13% 11% 11% Time from referral until child came home: Less than 3 months 4 to 6 months 7 to 9 months Longer than 9 months 12% 41% 33% 14% 68% took two trips to Ethiopia to complete their adoptions. For 34%, three or more months passed between the trips. 55% spent two weeks or less in Ethiopia; 29% spent two to three weeks. What readers say about the time it takes to adopt from Ethiopia: "Our process got 'stuck' in the requirement changes that were taking place in Ethiopia in 2010 and 2011." "We chose to stay between court and embassy in country. It was supposed to be six to eight weeks, but it ended up being five months." "We adopted an older 'waiting child,' so we did not have to wait for a referral." "Our agency forged a relationship with a new orphanage while we were in process. Because our agency had access to a new population of children who were waiting for parents, our wait was much shorter than expected. The wait has increased dramatically since." "Our adoption went relatively quickly because we adopted when Ethiopia required only one trip and before the wait time for approval letters began to increase." "We were caught in the rainy season!"

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Russia AdoptionAdoptions to the U.S. in 2011: 962 Average time from completion of dossier to referral: Less than 1 month 2 to 3 months 4 to 6 months 7 to 12 months 13 to 18 months Longer than 18 months 22% 16% 33% 12%   5% 12% Time from referral until child came home: Less than 3 months 4 to 6 months 7 to 9 months Longer than 9 months 22% 50% 11% 17% 59% took three or more trips to Russia to complete their adoptions. 47% spent four or more weeks in Russia, total. What readers say about the time it takes to adopt from Russia: "I adopted from a Russian region known for its unsympathetic judge. Delays were due to international scandal, local elections (which seemed frequent), hypercritical dossier requirements, and the judge's frequent absences due to vacation and holidays." "Great agency with long track record = fast, healthy referral and quick process." "Our dossier was submitted to Russia in June of 2009. In April of 2010, the Tory Hansen 'scandal' broke (a woman who adopted a boy from Russia sent him back on a plane by himself), and this, of course, damaged U.S./Russian relations and showed down our process. This was an extremely stressful time, but, thankfully, while adoptions slowed in the Vladivostok region, they did not cease." "We requested a boy age zero to three. Our agency said that they love people who want boys and that we would wait about four to six weeks. We received our referral before our dossier was even complete! Our court date came just after they had changed the law to increase the waiting period from 10 to 30 days. Other than that, everything was pretty quick."

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South Korea AdoptionAdoptions to the U.S. in 2011: 736 Average time from completion of dossier to referral: Less than 3 months 4 to 6 months 7 to 9 months 10 to 12 months 13 to 18 months Longer than 18 months 18% 32% 11%   7% 27%   9% Time from referral until child came home: Less than 3 months 4 to 6 months 7 to 9 months Longer than 9 months 22% 36% 20% 22% Of the 82% who traveled to adopt, 35% spent one week or less in South Korea. What readers say about the time it takes to adopt from South Korea: "South Korea is decreasing the number of emigration permits (EPs) that are approved each year -- we got caught up in that wait." "We worked with very experienced agencies both here in the U.S. and in South Korea. They processed everything as efficiently as possible." "We were waiting for the referral of a female, so it took longer than average. Also, the quota lengthened our wait, and has now extended the wait even longer than ours was."

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Ukraine AdoptionAdoptions to the U.S. in 2011: 640 Average time from completion of dossier to referral: Less than 1 month 2 to 3 months 4 to 6 months 7 to 12 months Longer than 12 months 36% 27% 18% 14%   5% Time from referral until child came home: Less than 1 month 2 to 3 months Longer than 3 months 27% 64%   9% 36% took two trips to the Ukraine to complete their adoptions. 82% spent four or more weeks in the Ukraine, total. What readers say about the time it takes to adopt from the Ukraine: "You receive your referral in country. Then you need to request your court date. After court, there is a 10-day waiting period before the adoption is final." "Our adoption was fairly quick for Ukraine. We knew it would be about six weeks from beginning to end. We are very pleased with the process and the outcome of our adoption." "We had a failed adoption attempt and were matched with another child. I stayed in country for eight weeks. My husband went home, returned for court, and then went home again. If we hadn't faced this wrinkle I would have been there for about five weeks and my husband would have gone home after three."

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Charts and survey information from Adoptive Families Magazine.

Tips for Saving Money on Adoption Expenses (And When to Pay More!)

Shop Around to Get the Most Bang for You Buck

The cost of adoption varies greatly by country and by adoption agency.  Make sure the agency you are considering is a licensed non-profit.  Check out some different countries that may have less cost. Remember adopting from Foster Care can be free or very inexpensive.  (Also, many families receive subsidies until the child turns 18.)

Not only should you shop around for adoption agencies, but also shop for different service providers for all the required documents for your adoption. For example, we were told that the required blood work to fill out our medical form would cost over $1,000 each.  I shopped around and found EconoLABS. We were able to have our blood work done for less than $200 each! 

Save money on having you papers, forms, and documents notarized by having them notarized at you local bank for free. We wait until we have a stack of papers that needs to be mailed.  Then we go to our bank and have them all notarized at once. 

Also, instead of ordering triple copies of birth certificates and our marriage license from vitalcheck.com we opted for the slower, cheaper method of ordering our documents directly through our state's department of vital statistics.

When to Pay More

Avoid anything that gives you a red-flag feeling! We looked into two different service providers for our homestudy.  One provider was very reputable and recommended to us by a friend and by a professional in the adoption field This homestudy provider had already worked with our international placing agency.  They were reasonably priced. The second homestudy provider could have saved us $1,000.  But option two refused to provide a list of references for us to contact, was hard to get a hold of by phone, had negative reviews online, and had never written a homestudy for a Bulgarian adoption.  My gut instinct was that this agency would be trouble! We opted for the more expensive, but still reasonably priced homestudy provider.  In this instance, saving money was not worth trying to work with a less than reputable agency for something as important as our homestudy.

The Most Important Things

Micah 6:8

He has told you, O man, what is good;
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
    and to walk humbly with your God?

Matthew 23:23

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you tithe even the herbs from your garden, and you have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faithfulness. These you ought to have done, without neglecting the others.

Sometimes in life, I lose focus.  My priorities get shifted.  When my priorities are not God's priorities, I worry and waste my time and energy on things that don't matter.  Lately, God has been refocusing my heart onto His priorities.

Jesus used strong language when He scolded the pharisees.  He said, "You have all your spiritual ducks in a row.  That is fine, but you have neglect what matters most! The most important things are justice and mercy and faithfulness!" When it comes to my Christianity, it is easy for me, like the pharisees, to get focused on the external, the dos and the don'ts, instead of what really matters. While God cares about the externals, the externals are not His focus, His heart.

What are God's priorities (and what should my priorities be?)

Mark 12:30-31

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

"Do not waste time bothering whether you ʿloveʾ your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him."
 
 - C. S. Lewis in Mere Christianity

According to Jesus, what really matters, what is really important is loving God and loving others. I must love God completely.  Then I must love others the way I love myself. God is convicting me that I don't love others the way I love myself. In my own strength, I am not capable of truly loving others. I need to be filled with the unselfish, sacrificial love that Jesus had when He gave His life for me. 

I have what Eric Ludy calls "depraved indifference" - an inward bent that is indifferent to others and that cares about myself. Oh, sure. I care about others, but do I care about others as much as I care about myself? Do I care about others enough to sacrifice some of my plentiful riches to care for the poor, hungry, and needy of this world? Do I care enough to go out of my comfort zone to tell my neighbors and the people I work with about Jesus? Or am I content with living in my own happy, (relatively) trouble-free, little life? I would rather buy another purse or new pair of shoes when I already have more than I can wear than sponsor a child in a developing country. I would rather go about my own business than show my neighbor I care.

James 1:24-27

But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue, deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless. Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

“As a Christian, it is very apparent that you are to love the Lord with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself. So myself doesn’t want to be starving, I don’t want other people in the world to be starving."

-Katie Davis

I love the story of Katie Davis. She both inspires and convicts me to live not for myself, but for God and for others. Here is her story:

Katie Davis took a short term missions trip to an orphanage Uganda on Christmas break of her senior year of high school.  During that trip she fell more in love with Jesus and in love with the people of Uganda.  After graduating from high school, Katie decided to take a year off before attending university. In the summer of 2007, Katie flew to Uganda again, this time to teach kindergarten in an orphanage for a year. Katie said "I moved over there thinking that I would be there for a year and then I would come back and go to college and be normal again." Fast forward to 2012. Katie never did attend university.  She still lives in Uganda.  Katie is now a mother to 14 daughters, has a sponsorship program that provides food and education for over 600 children, and runs Amazima Ministries (which she started) which helps Ugandan women with self-sustaining vocational skills. And Katie is younger than I am.

God may never call me to Uganda.  But how am I living my life by His priorities right now? Right now, how am I being the hands and feet of Jesus?

"People tell me I am brave. People tell me I am strong. People tell me good job. Well here is the truth of it. I am really not that brave, I am not really that strong, and I am not doing anything spectacular. I am just doing what God called me to do as a follower of Him. Feed His sheep, do unto the least of His people."

- Katie Davis

My Prayer: Break My Heart Over What Breaks Yours

God, I pray You would break my heart over what breaks Yours. Burden me with the things that burden You. Help me to live my life by Your priorities, not by this world's.  My I be motivated by Your love to help those who cannot help themselves.  May I care enough about those around me to share the love of Jesus with them. Cure me of the depraved indifference I have for those who don't know You and for those who are helpless in this world. Help me to not only be a hearer of Your Word but a doer also. May I be Your hands and Your feet to those with whom I come in contact. Amen.

Grants for Adoption

According to recent studies, more than 50% of Americans consider adoption, but say that the financial burden prevents them from actually adopting a child.

For National Adoption Month, I have been blogging about ways to help off set adoption expenses in hopes that someone who thought they could not afford to adoption would find hope that they can adopt with the help of God and others.  This topic would be incomplete without a blog post about adoption grants.

Adoption grants are a big help to families who can afford the day to day expenses of adding a child to their family such as food, clothing, doctor visits, etc. but do not have the funds to pay the expenses of an adoption.  Grants do not need to be repaid, which is a huge advantage over a low interest or interest free loan. Grant foundations and organization each have different requirements.  Every organization that I have seen requires an approved homestudy.  Most organizations send money directly to adoption agencies or lawyers rather than to the adoptive families.  Some agencies require a small application fee, usually under $50.

 

Grant Agencies

• National Adoption Foundation - This grant program is open to all legal adoptions including public or private agency adoptions, international, special needs or adoptions facilitated by an attorney. There is no income requirement. There is a simple one page application and the only requirement to apply is a home study, or one in progress. The NAF’s board meets four times a year, during the last week of each quarter, to award grants ranging from $500 to $2,000.
• Sea of Faces Foundation - Sea of Faces gives grants to married Christian couples who are legal residents of the US, have a referral for a child from a developing country, have a completed homestudy and an approved I-171H or I-797C. Sea of Faces allows families to apply up to six months after a child is home. Some additional factors considered are urgency of need, church involvement, overall financial stewardship, adoption impact on your financial future, and your adoption story. Applicants must also sign a Statement of Faith, which can be previewed here.
• Show Hope - Grants are given to Christian families adopting through a non-profit agency for domestic and international adoption.
• The OATH Ministry - Orphans Awaiting Their Homes Ministry gives grants to families who are currently in the adoption process and have an approved homestudy by a licensed social worker.  Grants are based on the need of the families and available the OATH's available resources.
• Affording Adoption Foundation - Grants are given three times a year to families working with Accredited Adoption Agencies or licensed attorneys in the United States who have been matched with a child.
• Gift of Adoption Fund - Grants are awarded for domestic or international adoptions regardless of religion, race, age, number of children already in the home, or marital status. Any U.S. citizen who has an approved and current home study from a licensed and accredited adoption agency is eligible to apply for a grant from The Gift of Adoption Fund. Grants range from $1,000 to $7,500 with the average grant award at $3,500. Gift of Adoption does not fully fund adoptions but provides the last bit of help needed to bring a child home.
• Help US Adopt - Grants are given twice a year to US citizens living inside the United States. Both couples or individuals who exhibit financial need and significant obstacles and hardship may receive grants. Helpusadopt.org accepts applications regardless of race, religion, gender, ethnicity, or marital status. Grants are up to $15,000 towards domestic, international, foster, or special needs adoption expenses.
• A Child Awaits Foundation - Grants are given of up to $5,000 for international adoptions only to qualified U.S. citizens regardless of marital status, race, religion or national origin. Selection of the recipients will be based on a combination of age/medical condition of the child, cost of the adoption, the families' financial situation and availability of funds at A Child Waits Foundation. Adoptions must be in process through a 501 (c) (3) agency licensed to place children.
• Hope for Fallen Leaves - Single women and legally married couples may apply, including families adopting internationally, from U.S. foster care, or domestic special needs; families with 0 – 10 children, biological or adopted; families living abroad with at least one parent being a U.S. citizen. Families must have a completed homestudy and be adopting with a non-profit agency. Funding priority will be given, but not limited to, families with the greatest financial need; families trying to keep siblings together; and families adopting special needs children.
• The Sparrow Fund - Gives grants to help cover the expenses of a medical reviews.
•  Brittany's Hope -Offers grants for waiting child/special needs international adoptions to families working with any of the eight agencies with whom they partner.
• Adoption Agencies – There are several adoption agencies that have adoption grant funds available to qualified families. Examples include: Dillon International, Holt International, WACAP, Adoption ARK and many more. Most of the time, these funds are set up to assist adoptions of special needs or hard to place children.

Matching Grant Agencies

• LifeSong for Orphans - LifeSong offers dollar-for-dollar matching grants ranging from $1,000-$4,000 to bring a child into a Christian, traditional two-parent home. LifeSong also offers interest-free adoption loans.
• We Care for Orphans Adoption Fund - A partner of LifeSong for Orphans that also give matching grants and interest free loans.
• Katelyn's Fund Orphan Ministry - Katelyn's Fund gives grants to help orphans to be adopted into two-parent, Christian homes. Grants are given to families showing financial hardship with adoption expenses. Applications must be submitted at least 90 days before travel and applicants must have an interview with the board before travel occurs or within 45 days of placement for domestic adoptions.
• God's Grace Adoption Ministry - GGAM uses matching grants to help Christian, two-parent families meet adoption expenses.

PS. - Resources 4 Adoption keeps an updated list of grant foundations and their qualifications that you can download for a fee of $9.95.

No Morning Sickness Yet, But the Paper Cuts Are Terrible!

A Funny Conversation:
A few days ago, my pastor's wife told me, "I keep thinking about you and wondering how you are doing and if you are feeling sick. Then I remember that you are not pregnant!" (This is so funny to me.  Whenever I think about it I just get a big smile on my face.)

A Wistful Thought:
Yesterday, Andrew told me, "I woke up this morning wishing our children were home."

A Sad Story (With a Future Happy Ending):
A few weeks go, Andrew was traveling and had to sleep on an air mattress on a concrete floor.  During the night he woke up and was laying on the floor.  All the air had leaked out of the air mattress.  Andrew told me that he lay there thinking, "Is this what it is like for our children?"

The Same, Yet So Different
These three short stories give small window into our lives right now. We are expecting parents, but my belly isn't growing (at least it better not be!)  Try explaining that to someone...

I think our journey to parenthood is so different, yet somehow the same as those who arrive at parenthood through pregnancy. Sometimes we dream of our children, as all expectant parents do. Sometimes, we find humor in the stage of life we are in right now, as I think a pregnant couple must do too.  And sometimes we are wondering about the well being of our children, as pregnant woman and her husband must think about the health and safety of their unborn child.

Both Hands: One for the Orphan, One for the Widow

Paying for an adoption isn't easy. For National Adoption Month, I wanted to share some fundraising ideas for families who are adopting. My absolute favorite fundraising idea for adoption is Both Hands Foundation.

Some reasons I love Both Hands Foundation:

1. I love the opportuity for the body of Christ to be the hands and feet of Jesus for a day!  This fulfills James 1:27 by helping both a widow and an orphan in a practical, hands on way.

2. The both hands project is a one day event! (Although there is preparation.) Short, sweet, and hard to beat!

3.  This fundraiser can be so successful! Some families have actually raised enough funds through this fundraiser to cover all of their adoption expense. The average family raises $10,000.00!

4. 100% of the money raised goes toward the expenses of the family's adoption.  Both Hands does not take any money for overhead.

5. Organization is dear to my heart.  I love things to be done in an orderly fashion.  A project like fixing a widows house in a day takes some planning.  I love how Both Hands has everything in place to make this fundraiser run smoothly.

6. Since Both Hands is a licensed nonprofit, all donations/gifts are tax deductible.

7. I love that this fundraiser is not just for adopting families. A church can do a Both Hands fundraiser to raise money for an orphanage or a church adoption fund!

Sound to good to be true? It is not. This video explains how both hands works, and the compelling story of how founder J. T. Olson began the ministry.

For more information and to apply, click here.

Would you like to see a sample of what one family did in one day to help a widow and raise money for there adoption? See the video below.

PS. Through out November I will be posting more fundraising ideas!

Adopting When You Can't Afford It

 

November is National Adoption Month.  Many people consider adopting, but think they can't afford it. Don't let money be the only obstacle that is keeping you from adopting.  If God wants your family to adopt, He will provide the finances for your adoption! If everyone waited until they could afford it, 90% of people who have adopted would probably never have adopted! Most people don't have thousands of dollars in the bank to pay for an adoption, but somehow they adopt anyway.

We are one of those couples without thousands of dollars in our bank account. My husband is in grad school and can only work about 30 hours a week.  I lost my job last spring and now work two part time jobs. We probably "can't afford it." But we are adopting anyway. We are trusting God to provide the finances.  (This whole adoption process is strengthening my faith! It is so amazing to watch how God is providing for our adoption!) I said all that to say this "If we can adopt, so can you!"

If you are considering adoption, but don't think you can afford it.  Give adoption another thought. Read Rebekah's blog post on how they adopted and God provided. Read Nancy's blog post on the sacrifices they made in order to adopt.

Stay tuned! Through out the month of November I will be giving a shout to out different fundraising and grant organizations that could help your family adopt!